We’ve grown up hearing our teachers offer “constructive criticism.” We’ve been taught to accept it as an appropriate way to redirect others. Instead of using the phrase “constructive criticism” I use the phrase “constructive support.” Here’s why.
Google the word criticism, and look at the images that pop up. The vast majority of images depict intense negativity. It shows people with slumped shoulders, angry, and sad.
The definitions you find are just as bad.
Oxford Dictionary: “the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “the act of criticizing usually unfavorably”
Wikipedia: “the practice of judging the merits and faults of something.”
Criticism is telling someone they are wrong. It focuses on faults and mistakes. It focuses on the past. If the frame of mind is critical, it’s not going to be constructive at all. Criticism is negative. When someone offers you “constructive criticism” it’s like they are saying, “I’m hurting you because it makes you better.”
What if, instead, they love you and support you because it makes you better. How different would it be if you grew up with others giving you constructive support–focusing on how you can improve instead of what you did wrong? Constructive support looks forward at the future and how to be better. Support inspires help to achieve more. Support changes your focus from negative to positive.
It comes down to semantics, and semantics is based on a frame of mind. If the frame of mind is a negative frame of mind, then it’s not going to be constructive at all. Those two things are at odds with each other. It just can’t happen.
How does this apply to rePURPOSING your Mind? You rePURPOSE your Mind with an attitude of support instead of criticism. Decide that instead of being critical with yourself and others, you will only be supportive.
Here’s how that looks. Let’s say for example that you want to be healthier, so you decide to eat more vegetables. You go to the store and purchase a bunch of fresh vegetables for snacks.
However, each time you reach for a snack, you look at those vegetables and decide you don’t have time to cut them up, so you grab a granola bar instead. A week later, you look in the fridge and all the vegetables have gone bad.
Instead of telling yourself, “Look at all the food I wasted. I should not have purchased all those vegetables.” You could say, “Well, now I know that I won’t eat fresh vegetables if they haven’t been prepared. Let’s try buying vegetables that are already prepared to eat.” Do you see how the first statement stops you from moving forward, and the second statement redirects you in a more positive direction?
As you work toward your vision, continue to ask yourself these questions: “What am I doing well? What have I made progress on? Did I get anything good from it? If yes, how do I get more? If no, what else can I do?” You do not need to dwell on things that do not work. Simply stop doing them and focus your energy on something that you believe will get results.
An important part of this process is to write down the changes you are going to make and then execute them, always moving forward. Move past those things that did not work, and don’t give them your energy nor attention. Put all your energy into those things that worked and move forward.
rePURPOSE your Mind to “constructive support” instead of “constructive criticism.” Make sure your communication with yourself and others helps move you forward. Focus on what you can do, what is working, and forget about the rest. Through these actions you rePURPOSE your Mind to an abundance mindset.